Sunrise Tantalize

I started responding to comments to Breaking the Law in the comment section but then decided to make it a new post since my response was getting so long. Also, I want to thank all of you for your well thought-out comments and I apologize for the confusion. I guess wordpress’s attempt to filter out trolls and spam is far from perfect.

I personally believe that I should follow the entire Word of Wisdom as it is commonly interpreted (no tea, coffee, alcohol, tobacco or illegal drugs). I agree with Thaddeus when he says, “Personal revelation is a delicate process and requires us to be in a humble, contrite frame of mind. When Susie makes her case to the Lord, she must be willing to take ‘no’ for an answer.” And I was only able to come to my decision about the Word of Wisdom when I was willing to take no for an answer.

However, I could not condemn someone who decided through personal revelation that drinking alcohol in moderation was okay. Thus the imaginary Suzie was born. This post also grew out of concern about conflict between the church’s concept of personal revelation and following the prophet. For as MormonZero said, “”but if their and your answer, decision, or choice concurs w/ that of the GA then FANTASTIC!” But what happens if your answer doesn’t match what the GA says? I suppose that is the real question of my last post.

I think that anyone who feels that they <i>need</i> to get baptized because the Holy Ghost is pushing them to, should be baptized - even if they disagree with certain things that the LDS Church teaches. (I will post more on this later.) Of course, you should agree with certain tenants like belief in Jesus Christ and the atonement. But, for example, I don’t think that God has commanded us not to masturbate. I think that the Church’s approach to masturbation is psychologically damaging. I believe that the interpretation of the Law of Chastity to include masturbation as forbidden is outdated and was formed without input from modern science and psychology. From the confusion and dissent I have seen from members about including masturbation in the Law of Chastity, I believe that this tenant will be changed relatively soon. And I believe all of this has been shown to me by the Holy Ghost.

I also agree with everyone who said that Suzie’s motivation behind her interpretation of the Word of Wisdom is very important. If wanted to keep drinking to have fun, or because it feels good, or to fit in, then yes, she would be wrong in deciding to drink beer. However, what if she said, “Well, I could easily give up all alcohol. I don’t see it as having any benefits or any detriments as long as someone drinks rarely and in moderation. I don’t think the Holy Ghost says that I must drink beer; I think that the Holy Ghost has said that it’s okay if I have a beer every once in a while.” She could even add conditions to that - i.e. she could only drink when she’s at home, by herself, isn’t depressed or stressed, and she can only have 2 beers per month - so that she makes sure that she isn’t drinking with the wrong motivation. Or she could follow some of ditchu’s suggestions about types of beer/alcohol to drink. I don’t think I can argue with Suzie there. I think she would be making a responsible decision through personal revelation. I can’t say, “No, God didn’t say that” because I have no idea what God has or hasn’t said to Suzie.

I have issues with the ‘would you feel comfortable doing something if Heavenly Father/ Jesus Christ was in the room with you’ test. And it is a commonly quoted test (not just by you, ditchu). It’s all over Ensign articles and Church publications. Would I feel comfortable wearing a short skirt in front of Jesus? Well, yeah because I think he wouldn’t care. He has bigger fish to fry. Would I feel comfortable drinking alcohol in front of Jesus? Well, I’d probably ask him if he was okay with it. Or I’d be too surprised at seeing him that I wouldn’t even consider drinking. Would I feel okay masturbating in front of Jesus? (That’s a little too personal of a question.) It would freak me out if Jesus wanted to watch. I’d have to ask Him for some privacy. Not because I would be ashamed but because it’s awkward. Plus, I doubt I would want to, because I’d want to talk to him about other things. I wouldn’t say, “Oh, hi, Jesus. Thanks for stopping in. Could you step out in the hall for a bit? I have something I need to finish up here. Then you can come back and talk to me about whatever important information you have for me.”

Most importantly, I would say to the Suzie of two paragraphs above, “Based on what you’ve told me, I think you should still get baptized. You’ll have to figure out how to answer the questions in the baptismal interview. Baptism is the first step and Heavenly Father knows that you are learning and you aren’t perfect. Also, your revelations will change throughout your lifetime. I think it is impossible to agree 100% of the time with the GAs because of the nature of personal revelation. As long as you are making a good effort to live God’s commandments, then you’ll be okay.”

The following is a little thought experiment. It doesn’t apply to me. As I’ve said in a previous post, I’ve decided to obey everything in the Word of Wisdom as it is interpreted. And I haven’t had a drink in about a month. Self high five! ala The Todd from “Scrubs”. Anyhow, I was thinking about a “what if” situation - as in what if I made a decision like Suzie does in the situation below.

Let’s say that Suzie is an investigator. Suzie decides one of the LDS Church’s commandments doesn’t apply to her. Let’s say she doesn’t like the no alcohol clause of the Word of Wisdom. She’s thought about the commandment. She’s prayed about the commandment. She understands why the commandment is so broad and prohibits all alcohol. She believes that she has received the testimony that for her, following the Word of Wisdom means that she is not to drink any hard liquor but she is permitted to drink beer.

Is it permissible for her to be baptized? When asked if she will follow the Word of Wisdom, can she say ‘yes’ since she has already clarified the WoW with God? After all, she’s not making a covenant with people; she’s making it with God and truly believes that is the correct promise to make. Even though she believes she has the go-ahead from God to drink beer, should she still abstain from drinking beer? Should she be required to disclose her unique interpretation of the Word of Wisdom? What do you think about this situation?

Well, I feel much better today. Some chemical must have been off in my brain or it was a weird side effect of my endocrine condition. Anyhow, church was the highlight of my day yesterday. I ended up going to the later ward that meets in the same building as my ward. My mom wanted to go out for breakfast in the morning and I’m not going to argue with mom on Mother’s Day. Luckily I knew a few families from when the Boy and I visited that ward, and sat with Kirsty and her family. Kirsty was a huge help and she has the convert experience. Her dad took several years to convert so it was helpful to talk to her about that too. Oh, and they passed out chocolate to all the women. Now that’s my kind of church!! (Just kidding - kind of)

The Gospel Principles lesson was on the Holy Ghost. The LDS concept of the Holy Ghost is really unique. Probably because the LDS Church lacks the Trinitarian belief of my old Presbyterian church. The rest of this post will probably sound rather strange to those who aren’t familiar with LDS beliefs. Anyhow, in the Gospel Principles class, Kirsty told me about the analogy of how the Holy Ghost is like the sun. There is just one sun but people everywhere can feel the sun when they’re standing in it. Remove yourself from the sun by standing in the shade is like blocking the Holy Ghost by not following God’s commandments. When you’re in the shade, you can still feel some heat from the sun and you remember what it feels like. I know now this is a common analogy, but whoever thought it up was very clever!

Sometimes I get so frustrated that I can’t always feel the Holy Ghost.  Like the answers don’t come very easily. I have to work much harder for them. I feel like I have to jump up and down and wave my hands and shout “Hey! Over here! I have a question!” I’m hoping that I can feel the Holy Ghost all the time after being baptized. Kirsty told me that she was baptized in her mid-teens and she could feel the Holy Ghost right away.

I did finally pray with intent about drinking alcohol. I’ve prayed several times before and never really got an answer, but I think I wasn’t ready to hear an answer. So on Saturday night I prayed to know if I should follow the Word of Wisdom and not drink. A few hours later, I had my answer. One way the Holy Ghost speaks to me is when I sense a very strong, clear thought that wasn’t there before. This time the thought was “Sometimes you don’t know why I ask you to do things, but in time, I will will make these things known.” 

Something I realized today is that my transition into the Church of JC of LDS is harder on my friends and family then it is on me. I am willing to make changes in my life because I have feel something special in my heart. Other people haven’t had this experience and don’t understand the changes. I also spend a lot of time thinking about my decision to be baptized and about various issues involving the Church. They don’t do that. So they look at me and think, what is wrong with her? Why is she changing so much? Why does she go to church for three hours? Why doesn’t she drink?

Honestly, my habits have changed but my overall personality has not. I’m still the same person that I’ve always been and my relationships with friends and family are the same. I think it’s just a shock to them and I hope that things will get better in time.

Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled in two directions at once. The missionaries want me to be what I call “more Mormon”. They want me to hurry up and accept things. Their favorite answer is since I “know” the Book of Mormon is true, then Joseph Smith’s revelations must be true, and thus whatever they are teaching me must be true. They don’t seem to want to see things from my perspective or to understand that this is also a huge cultural change for me as well.

Then I have my friends pulling on my other arm. They want me to be “less Mormon”. To change more slowly. They have a harder time understanding why I’m choosing to join the LDS Church. They think it’s happening too fast.

Yesterday I met with the missionaries and a couple from the ward and we talked about the Word of Wisdom. Since I knew that I’d have issues with the Word of Wisdom, I’ve been researching and praying about it for several weeks. I’ve changed my habits so that I can obey the Word of Wisdom even though I’m still working on the drinking aspect. I tried to explain to them where I’m coming from. Drinking is a big part of my (college, twenty-something, secular) culture. The other group thing is that I have a hard time taking advice about drinking from people who have never tried alcohol. I wanted credit for what I’ve done so far, but the missionaries wanted a firm commitment that I will live the Word of Wisdom. I told them that I was doing the best I can. I went home feeling frustrated.

Side note: one missionary also implied that my boyfriend is a bad influence on me. He compared my bf to a drill sergeant who seriously harassed and was abusive toward one of the other missionaries who used to be a marine. Personally I think the missionary has issues with his nonmember father and takes it out on me and my boyfriend. I’m having a hard time interacting with and trusting this missionary now and I don’t want him to be a part of my baptism. If this becomes a bigger problem, what can I do about it? Can I talk to his mission president? Should I confront the missionary directly and tell him that he’s making me uncomfortable? I know that his behavior isn’t typical of all missionaries.

There’s more to this post/topic including some positive things. But I have a migraine so I’ll probably post the rest of it later.

So the countdown has begun. My baptism date is set. Now I need to think about (church-related) things I have to do before then.

• Continue taking lessons from the missionaries.
• Keep reading the scriptures.
  • I can read about five chapters of the Book of Mormon at a time and then I fall asleep. I’ll blame it on my faulty endocrine gland.
• Keep going to church.
• Research and think about things I am uncertain about.
• Finish my knitted wrap that I’ve now dubbed the Baptism Wrap.
• Learn how to pray aloud.
  • The missionaries laughed last time I prayed aloud - not in a mean way though.
• Remember to pray.
• Buy white underwear so I don’t flash everyone after I’ve been dunked.
• Follow the Word of Wisdom.
  • I’m down to no coffee, tea, wine or hard liquor. Tobacco was never an issue. No drinking in public. But I occasionally have a drink at home. The solution would just be to not buy any alcohol. But I’m living at my parents’ house and they usually have beer and wine around. Argh - self-control.
  • The comments on Drink, Drank, Drunk as well as this quote on the WoW has helped me, “Most people want some scientific proof of exactly which compound does exactly what, but honestly, it all just boils down to faith. The Lord doesn’t often provide a clear why with His commandments. If you believe the Lord said it, then you’ll just have to trust Him.”
• Tell my close family and friends about joining the LDS Church. (??)

That last item is going to be the hardest and I’ve been working on a post about it. My next few posts will probably be about that since I’ve decided it’s easier to explain in multiple parts.

On the way to work today I was talking to the Boy about the Word of Wisdom, specifically the alcohol part of it. I said, it’s not about whether or not I think the drinking alcohol is immoral or not. Drinking isn’t immoral, unless you do something irresponsible while you’re intoxicated. It’s about making a promise when I know I can’t keep that promise. Plus I can’t really fudge on the WoW because it’s pretty obvious if you’re drinking a beer at the bar.

Anyhow, I come how from work to find an email from the Boy. Basically he’s upset because I’m talking about changing what I do based on a rule I don’t really believe in. He has a good point there. But that’s why I’m continuing to meditate on it. Then he says, “I know it probably sounds like I’m just trying to fight this conversion idea tooth and nail, but I swear I told myself yesterday that I would just try to accept it and be supportive. That being said, I don’t want to see you give up something that I know you enjoy unless you’re sure it’s worth it.” Err… well, I know it’s worth it. (Ha! Maybe there’s my answer to the WoW issue!) And I’m concerned that he has to tell himself that he will try to accept it and be supportive. So we had a talk about that. It seemed to stress him out more than it stressed me out.

Here’s what we came up with. 1. Having a mixed faith marriage is not a deal-breaker. 2. Neither of us will try to convert each other. 3. His preferred church option is for us all to have the same religion. I’ve told him that I can’t promise him that. Another option (my preferred option) is to go to our ‘family’ service in the morning and then I can go to the LDS service in the afternoon. Hopefully we’ll live in a ward with an afternoon service. For some bizarre reason, that is not a good option for the Boy. Why? Because, according to him, I would be “just paying lip-service” to that church. Um, no, I’m fairly flexible on attending church services. I’ll go and support my husband and kids as long as I don’t have to believe. I did grow up in a Protestant church, y’know. Another option is for him to come to church with me - and then when we have kids, we can decide whether or not to send them to Sunday school or to have them just go to sacrament meeting. Of course, I’d be fine with him being baptized too — but only if that’s what he wants to do. The Boy says he just needs to get used to the idea that I’m probably going to be a Mormon. Poor guy.

Abiding by the Word of Wisdom (WoW) is one of the hardest things for me to deal with. I agree with most of it, but not the alcohol part. And I only partly agree with the tea/ coffee part. For the rest of it, I’ve never smoked and I can’t stand secondhand smoke. Why would anyone deliberately want to do that to their lungs? Chewing tobacco doesn’t sound all that great either. The diet recommendations are reasonable as well.

Avoiding tea and coffee is easy. Coffee shops are popular in college towns. You can study there, hang out with friends, and go on first dates. Luckily coffee shops sell many other things than coffee and tea, such as hot chocolate, mint chocolate chip frozen drinks, and Italian soda. No one ever says, “Why didn’t you get a coffee?” At home, I was a big tea drinker. I love English breakfast tea with sugar and cream. There’s something so comforting about it. Since I started complying with the WoW, I’ve invested in some good herbal “teas” - which are more like infusions.

So my question is, what’s wrong with drinking in moderation? I’m 22 and I’ve done most of my drinking after the age of 21. I find that it’s a social activity. I don’t have more than four drinks per month and I only drink when I go out to a bar with friends for a meal. Or I drink when I’m hanging out with the Boy who I see about once a month. He is a beer fanatic and likes to get all of the fancy, locally brewed beers. Also, for those who don’t drink, good beers and hard ciders taste great. There’s nothing that tastes quite like a beer. The D&C 89:5-6 says:

5 That inasmuch as any man ^adrinketh ^bwine or strong drink among you, behold it is not good, neither meet in the sight of your Father, only in assembling yourselves together to offer up your sacraments before him. 6 And, behold, this should be wine, yea, ^apure wine of the grape of the vine, of your own make.