Sunrise Tantalize

Before I became LDS I never prayed. Never ever. The only prayers heard in my family’s house were from extended relatives at Thanksgiving and Christmas. The constant praying that Mormons do still unnerves me a little. We have to pray before and after everything. You get at least six prayers within a three-hour block on Sundays. At my old church we kind of assumed that one prayer at the beginning of church would be good for the rest of the day. Not anymore. Plus I’m always anxious about getting called on to pray aloud. And despite all of my anxiety, I am so thankful that my investigations into the LDS church taught me to pray.

I’m still nervous about praying with J. Actually I’m nervous about discussing anything religious with J. But I think it would be a really good thing to do together. Especially before we go to sleep. It’s comforting for me to review the day and say what I’m thankful for and what I need help with. Plus if my SO can hear what I’m praying about he’ll know what’s important to me. This past Sunday was Fast Sunday. I told J that I was fasting and praying for us and our relationship since we’ve in a bit of a rough patch. And he was kind of like, “ok, that’s nice, dear.” Sigh. That wasn’t very encouraging.

The other day I was running a practice nursing assessment and I asked J how he would describe his religious beliefs. He says he’s not religious but he has faith. He has a strong belief in some kind of supernatural force but he doesn’t like religion. Sometimes I wonder if J is less inclined to pray because he thinks that his supernatural being doesn’t involve itself in human concerns. Would it matter if I was actually praying to nothing? Or to a god that doesn’t influence human affairs? No, not really. I would still pray. Prayer is a way to reflect upon my life. Especially private, personal prayer where I’m just having a chat with Heavenly Father. Prayer reminds me of all the good things in my life. Even when I’m having a horrible day and feel depressed I can still thank God that I have a roof over my head and food to eat (even if it’s only ramen). When I pray I can ask Heavenly Father to give me the (strength, perseverance, love, etc) to do what I need to do. Sometimes I ask God for things that I can’t directly change myself, but these are more important things. Prayer helps me acknowledge that some things are out of my hands and are better governed by God’s will. I think that even if I’m praying in vain (but I don’t think I am), it’s still psychologically beneficial. Actually there’s a whole section on spirituality and the benefits of spirituality in my nursing diagnosis and plan book. I’ll talk about that in my next post(s).

Our topic of the day in Relief Society was on personal revelation and prayer and it drew from the book, Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith.

All religions have a specific way of praying. Mormons have a very specific way of praying. Arms folded. Eyes closed or at least cast down. Address Heavenly Father (use Thee and Thou, not you and your). Thank Him. Ask Him for his help. (Sometimes bear your testimony.) “We pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” Pray all the time. It still surprises me how someone just hop up and say a prayer on cue. I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s almost like a fill-in-the-blank prayer. Or similar prayers with some variations. Then I found this quote from a Church member who heard Joseph Smith pray:

“Never until then had I heard a man address his Maker as though He was present listening as a kind father would listen to the sorrows of a dutiful child… There was no ostentation, no raising of the voice as by enthusiasm, but a plain conversational tone, as a man would address a present friend, It appeared to me as though, in case the veil were taken away, I could see the Lord standing facing His humblest of all servants I had ever seen.” (p. 127)

This is my preferred way of praying. Just like I’m having a conversation with God. Not the strict, structured, formal way that I’ve heard in church. Maybe people feel like they need to be more formal in church. But if Joseph Smith could pray in a more casual, but respectful way, then we should be able to do that too. Because JS was an example to us. Of course, I look at the example of the prayer that Joseph Smith offered and it seems very formal to me. But maybe that’s because Smith speaks in the language of his time.

So to sum it up (I’ve had too many years of note-taking):

• Address Heavenly Father as if he is “a present friend”.
• “Be plain and simple and ask for what you want”
• “Remember that without asking we can receive nothing”
• Don’t pray for things you don’t need
• “Pray earnestly for the best gifts” (emphasis mine)
• Pray always, keep a prayer in your heart
• Pray about everything
• Pray over everything
• Ask for God’s blessing in everything you do

from p. 127-131

Please pray for me and/or send good thoughts my way. I had surgery earlier today and I feel awful. I could use all the help I can get. Oh, and I believe that prayer from people of all faiths work. Thanks!

On the bright side, at least that crazy endocrine gland is out now.

eta: I probably won’t be posting anything for the next few days while I’m on “interesting” pain meds.

So the countdown has begun. My baptism date is set. Now I need to think about (church-related) things I have to do before then.

• Continue taking lessons from the missionaries.
• Keep reading the scriptures.
  • I can read about five chapters of the Book of Mormon at a time and then I fall asleep. I’ll blame it on my faulty endocrine gland.
• Keep going to church.
• Research and think about things I am uncertain about.
• Finish my knitted wrap that I’ve now dubbed the Baptism Wrap.
• Learn how to pray aloud.
  • The missionaries laughed last time I prayed aloud - not in a mean way though.
• Remember to pray.
• Buy white underwear so I don’t flash everyone after I’ve been dunked.
• Follow the Word of Wisdom.
  • I’m down to no coffee, tea, wine or hard liquor. Tobacco was never an issue. No drinking in public. But I occasionally have a drink at home. The solution would just be to not buy any alcohol. But I’m living at my parents’ house and they usually have beer and wine around. Argh - self-control.
  • The comments on Drink, Drank, Drunk as well as this quote on the WoW has helped me, “Most people want some scientific proof of exactly which compound does exactly what, but honestly, it all just boils down to faith. The Lord doesn’t often provide a clear why with His commandments. If you believe the Lord said it, then you’ll just have to trust Him.”
• Tell my close family and friends about joining the LDS Church. (??)

That last item is going to be the hardest and I’ve been working on a post about it. My next few posts will probably be about that since I’ve decided it’s easier to explain in multiple parts.