Sunrise Tantalize

This post is a follow-up to the post on Alternative Spiritual Practices and LDS Women. I found a great article at the FAIR website. You can find it here. The most useful part of the article for this post is the section under the subtitle of “Priesthood and Patriarchy”.

This quote sums up my objection very well:

However, for some, the Priesthood/motherhood dichotomy is problematic as a false one in regard to men’s and women’s separate roles. Harrison and Richards have called this notion “that for mortal women motherhood is the parallel to priesthood…equally spurious, since all women are not mothers; fatherhood, not priesthood, is the male counterpart to motherhood. Furthermore, motherhood and fatherhood are bestowed on the righteous and the wicked alike.”

I think this is why I have a problem with men having the priesthood when women don’t. Priesthood is not analogous to motherhood! I respect that men and women are not the same and that each gender has special things to offer. However, priesthood - made possible through the atonement - is only granted to worthy male members of the LDS Church. And the priesthood is exercised righteously. Motherhood is available to everyone - worthy and unworthy, and it’s not always exercised righteously.

I would like the Church to create a special spiritual role only available to worthy LDS women. I have no idea what to call it, but for convenience I’ll use “priestesshood” for now. As I was writing my definition for the priestesshood, I found that I also needed to change the definition of the priesthood. I’ll post the original definitions or description from LDS.org below and then I’ll do my definitions.

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CURRENT DESCRIPTIONS OF MALE AND FEMALE ROLES WITHIN THE LDS CHURCH

Women in the church: “In weekly worship services and classes, women preach sermons, offer prayers in behalf of the congregation, and teach adults and children. They may also serve as missionaries and as presidents of the Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary organizations. Women participate in councils that oversee congregational activities throughout the world. They also perform a vital work in nurturing and teaching in the home.” (LDS.org)

Priesthood: “The priesthood is the eternal power and authority of God. Through the priesthood God created and governs the heavens and the earth. Through this power He redeems and exalts His children, bringing to pass “the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). God gives priesthood authority to worthy male members of the Church so they can act in His name for the salvation of His children. Priesthood holders can be authorized to preach the gospel, administer the ordinances of salvation, and govern the kingdom of God on the earth. (LDS.org)

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SUNLIZE’S PROPOSAL OF MALE AND FEMALE ROLES WITHIN THE LDS CHURCH

Priestesshood: The priestesshood is the eternal power and love of God. Through the priestesshood God created and nutures humankind. Through this power He loves and teaches His children, bringing to pass the immortality and eternal life of man and woman. God gives priestesshood authority to worthy female members of the Church so they can act in His name for the care of His children. Priesthood holders can be authorized to preach the gospel, teach men, women and children, and care for the physical, emotional and spiritual health of church members. Priestesshood holders govern the kingdom of God on the earth along with priesthood holders. A mother who holds the priestesshood is the primary parent responsible for nurturing, teaching and healing within the home. A wife who holds the priestesshood is a partner and the chief supporter of her husband and his role as priesthood holder.

Priesthood: The priesthood is the eternal power and authority of God. Through the priesthood God created and governs the heavens and the earth. Through this power He redeems and exalts His children, bringing to pass “the immortality and eternal life of man [and woman]” (Moses 1:39). God gives priesthood authority to worthy male members of the Church so they can act in His name for the salvation of His children. Priesthood holders can be authorized to preach the gospel, administer the ordinances of salvation, and govern the kingdom of God on the earth. Priesthood holders govern the kingdom of God on the earth along with priestesshood holders. A father who holds the priesthood is the primary parent responsible for administering ordinances, teaching the gospel, and financially supporting his family. A husband who holds the priesthood is a partner and the chief supporter of his wife and her role as priestesshood holder.

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So what do you think? Am I making more sense? What would you change in either my proposal or the current Church descriptions of male and female roles?

Since investigating Mormonism I have worried over the fact that my boyfriend (and probable future husband) is not interested in the LDS Church. I worry about if our marriage will be stressed because we are of different faiths. I worry that I’m doing something wrong by not joining a church together. And I worry that we won’t be married for eternity.

Prior to investigating Mormonism, I always assumed that marriages and other family ties outlived death. This wasn’t based on any scriptural evidence, it was simply intuitive. Many non-LDS people think that way, despite the “until death do you part” clause of the typical marriage vows. BUT if I subscribe to LDS beliefs then family bonds do not extend beyond death unless they are sealed in a temple. My boyfriend would say, “Why is that? Would a caring, loving God really separate families?”

Well, you have to think about it in the LDS way and remember that Mormons believe in pre-existence. We are all children of God; we are all spiritual brothers and sisters. That is our initial bond to each other. You can think of the sealings on earth as a reassignment of those bonds into individual family units. This makes it slightly less weird to be sleeping with your spiritual brother (i.e. your husband). Without this reassignment of bonds, you are released from your earthly family bonds after death and you return to being merely a spiritual sister to your former husband, parents and children. According to LDS beliefs, only bonds sanctified by God in the temples are strong enough to withstand death and thus those spirits within those bonds do not experience dispersal of earthly familial bonds and they can retain their husband-wife, parent-child, etc relationships. (This is all sunlize thinking and not really official doctrine. This is my theory guided by the Spirit.)

This leads me to my question: How important is it to get married for now and eternity during our time on earth?

I think it is important to be married for eternity and sealed to our children, but I’m not sure if those events must be completed during our time on earth. This is mainly due to the work for the dead that takes place in the temples. Let’s assume that I marry my non-LDS boyfriend for this lifetime and he never converts. I will simply make sure that we are sealed after our deaths. (Well, I suppose he’d have to be baptized first and all that jazz.) Temple marriage by proxy wouldn’t be that hard to arrange. I could always have my children submit our names, or a close friend, or I could even write it in my will. I’m assuming that the Boy will accept the ordinances done in his name after death if he finds himself in ’spirit prison’. And if there is no spirit prison, then the ordinances won’t cause any harm.

Sure, there are blessings that come from being married or sealed in the temple, but these are related more to the blessings that come from both spouses/ parents being of LDS faith. For the marriage, conflict over issues of faith or of raising the children. Spouses are probably more likely to see eye-to-eye on financial and social issues. For the family, a family with the same faith is probably more cohesive in that part of their life. Everyone abides by the same rules of conduct. If the father is LDS, then he can administer ordinances like blessings and baptisms. Does this mean that mixed-faith marriages are worse than LDS marriages? No. There are plenty of good mixed faith marriages, just as there are some bad temple marriages.

I am also unsure that it is important to be sealed to your spouse during this lifetime because marriages change. Having a temple marriage does not ensure that both spouses will remain TBMs for the rest of their lives. I have read too many stories where one spouse becomes inactive or leaves the LDS faith. I’ve read stories of both spouses leaving the faith. And some of these people had incredibly strong testimonies throughout their lives. They never thought that they would leave the Church. Their spouses never thought their eternal marriage would become disrupted.

So I say, love the one you’re with. Marriages don’t succeed or fail based on the participants’ religious beliefs (or lack thereof). Ability to compromise, to accept your partner as he is, and to respect your partner’s beliefs are essential to having a successful marriage.

Today I was baptized! Yay! But not confirmed… which is a little weird. So I’ve been washed of my sins and I’m following God’s covenants, but I don’t have the Holy Ghost to guide me? Interesting.

My mom is not happy. Apparently she doesn’t believe in God anymore. I don’t know when that happened. They just joined a church four or five years ago. My dad, on the other hand, is super interested. He says he likes to learn about new religions. Especially Christian religions. He’s coming to my confirmation next week.

So the baptismal service was very nice. I met a lot of people for the first time since I’ve been attending various wards in the area. I am so grateful for the young couple who helped organize and run the service. Five minutes into the service I started regretting that my parents, especially my mom, was there. I was freaking out about how she would take some of the things the speakers were saying. Eventually I started to pray for God to soften my family’s hearts and left it up to him. I’m sure it didn’t help that I forgot to take my antidepressant meds that day.

I think I’ll describe what happened at my baptism because that’s one of the things I wondered about before my baptism.

I got to the church thirty minutes early. The couple that was helping with the service was there. They gave me a choice of two white baptismal gowns to wear. One looked like a nightgown and one looked more like a dress. I decided not to get changed before the service began because my family would give me a really hard time. Looking back on it, the gown that looked like a dress wasn’t all that bad and I could have worn that. I went to the front of the church just in time to welcome my family and friends.

The service started with the bishop welcoming everyone. There was an opening hymn and a prayer. One of the ward members who taught me with the missionaries did a talk on baptism and confirmation. Then the pianist played a special song. Then I went into the bathroom and changed into the baptismal gown that looked more like a dress. In the meanwhile, everyone went out into the sanctuary where the baptismal font is. There’s doors that separate the baptismal font from the sanctuary, and the font is near the men and women’s bathrooms. The font sinks into the ground and looks like an L with steps on the short part of the L and the rest of the font perpendicular to it. There’s glass that separates the font area from the sanctuary. Luckily the water was about bath water temperature.

The missionaries had me take off my watch and the black hair tie that was around my wrist. We had a one minute discussion about what to do with my glasses. I convinced them to let me keep my glasses so that I didn’t trip down the steps and crack my head open. I put them on the ledge of the font right before I got baptized. We practiced how the baptism would be done and made sure that the missionary who was baptizing me knew what to say. Then we went into the font and they opened the doors to the sanctuary. All the little kids were sitting in the front and obviously they found this part the most interesting. My dress floated up around me so I had to push it down into the water. Guys have it easy - they get to wear pants. The missionary held my right wrist with his left hand and I grabbed his wrist with my left hand. Then he said the prayer and I bent my knees and leaned backwards while he supported my back so I didn’t fall all the way over. When I came up, I couldn’t see anything. No one said anything, so I whispered, “Did I go all the way under?” And still no one said anything and they shut the doors really quickly. I was happy that I couldn’t see much so that I didn’t see my mom’s face when I came up.

Then I dripped all over the place until someone found a towel. In the bathroom I managed to pull the zipper of the dress down and peel the dress off. Let me tell you, I am very glad I wore white underwear and a nude colored full slip under that dress. Because when I got dunked it turned into a wet tee-shirt contest where I was the only contestant. (Not really - but wet clothes really cling to the body.) Halfway through changing I remembered reading something about a missionary schpeal to the family and friends while I was changing, so I hurried up and didn’t dry my hair. When I got out of the bathroom, the bishop told me that I wouldn’t be confirmed today. That will be next week. Luckily, they only watched a movie about Jesus’s life while I was changing. It didn’t look that bad and showed familiar things - the Last Supper; Jesus washing people’s feet. Some little kid behind me said, “Is that Jesus Christ?” in a loud whisper. They turned the movie off a minute or two I returned from the bathroom.

When I sat down, my mom turned around and gave me the look of death. It was a how can you do this, you are brainwashed, you are in a cult, i hate this movie, i can’t believe i’m here, they’re trying to convert me look. That really hurt and I wanted to cry. After they turned the movie off, the Relief Society president gave a talk on what the Relief Society is and welcomed me to the Relief Society. The talk had a bit of sexist undertone that made me wince a little. More on that later. Then the bishop gave a talk about how glad they were that I was baptized and how the Church was true. And he pointed out that most of the people at the baptism didn’t even know me, but they wanted to support me. And he said that my ward family couldn’t replace my biological family. And he was happy that my friends and my family were there for me. Then we sang “Come Follow Me” which was coincidentally one of the hymn sung on the first day that I went to church. (I didn’t pick any of the hymn or the speakers though I guess most baptism candidates do.) Then we had snacks and drinks and I met a bunch of people and thanked them for coming to my baptism and that was it! I’m excited about my confirmation next week.

PS - Does anyone know where I can find some inexpensive scriptures? I have ‘economy’ copies of the Book of Mormon and the King James Bible that the missionaries gave me. I’d like some nicer scriptures but I can’t really afford to spend $60 right now. I might just end up ordering the ‘economy’ versions. I haven’t seen much on ebay or Amazon.

Five minutes ago, I told my mom that I was joining a new church.

“Ok,” she says, “what church?”
“The Mormon Church,” I say.
“Really?” She laughs. “Okay.”
So far, so good, I think.
“Is the Boy a Mormon?”
“No.”
“Why do you have to be a member? Why can’t you just go?”
“Because I want to join.”
“But you’ll have to join again after you move.”
“No, you only have to join once in one location,” I say.
I go to the fridge to get something to eat. I congratulate myself…

“You can’t join the Mormon Church now. That’s irrational!” she says and follows me into the kitchen.
Darn it! I knew it was too good to be true.
“Why is it irrational?” I say.
“Because you have too much going on in your life! And the fact that you can’t see it’s irrational makes it an irrational decision.”
“I have absolutely nothing going on in my life.”
“Then go downstairs and repack your apartment stuff,” Mom says.
“Mom, that’s just stuff.”
“You have a boyfriend.”
“And?”
“You’re moving across the country! To a new city. To a new college. You’re entering a stressful program.”

And at that point I just stopped talking. I was hoping that she’d be okay with it but I guess she’s not. At least all of my close friends are coming to my baptism as are my siblings. (And then we’re getting sushi! yum!) It’s already hard enough having (relative) strangers baptizing me and speaking at the service. It would be nice if my boyfriend or my dad belonged to the church so they could baptize me. It would be nice if my parents showed up for the baptism.

Yes, I am at a stressful point in my life. The reason why I began looking into all of this religion stuff was because I was sick. It made me want to do all of the things I had been putting off. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Let’s say I’m making a mistake by being baptized. Eventually I’ll figure it out and leave the church… if I’m making a mistake. But right now, I don’t feel like it’s a mistake. Sigh.

The news media and blogosphere is awash with posts and stories about the California Supreme Court’s ruling on gay marriage. First I’d like to point out that the decision says that marriage is a constitutional right. However, if an amendment banning gay marriage was added to the California Constitution, then gay marriage would be prohibited in California. My first thought upon reading the headline was “yay! that’s a win for us,” where “us” means those who oppose a ban on gay marriage. You can oppose a ban on gay marriage and still disagree with gay marriage. There are many people who don’t support an amendment that would take away rights from individuals.

Personally I support civil gay marriage. I think that churches/ religious institutions should be able to determine whether or not they will marry people. I think the best solution would be to institute “civil unions” or a secular recognition of a marriage/union for all couples - gay and straight. Then if you want to be married in a church, you have to find a church that agrees to marry you. Churches aren’t currently obligated to marry everyone who walks through their doors. I can’t force the LDS Church to marry my bf and I in the temple. In this plan, all previous/ existing marriages would be granted a civil union without having to go back to court. I don’t understand why there is opposition to this type of plan - can someone fill me in (in a polite way please)? I see the debate over the best environment to raise children in (gay, straight, single, married) as a completely different issue.

Maybe the problem is with our definition of marriage. Traditionally marriages were preformed by religious officials but they were also civilly binding. Now you can get married in a church or in a courthouse. You don’t get more civil benefits by getting married in a church. Let’s say my plan was enacted - civil unions are required for everyone, but church marriages are optional and the church can control who they marry. So everyone who has a civil marriage gets civil benefits - insurance benefits, tax benefits, et cetera. Churches can enact their own benefits as well. The LDS Church already does this in a way. Anyone not sealed or married in the temple cannot make it to the celestial kingdom. There’s also the benefits of fulfilling family expectations of getting married in a church. Unless the Boy converts to the LDS Church, we probably won’t be getting married by a religious leader and it won’t be in a church. This will be upsetting for some of relatives because the union won’t be blessed by God. But we feel that due to the variety of religions practiced by our families, as well as our own differing religions, a non-religious marriage would be the most peaceful and comfortable for everyone. Of course, I would prefer to eventually be sealed in the temple either in this life or the next and I doubt the bf would have an issue with that.

I think there are some great points brought up in the posts and comments at Feminine Mormon Housewives and By Common Consent. I’m sure there will be more posts in the next couple days.

Something I realized today is that my transition into the Church of JC of LDS is harder on my friends and family then it is on me. I am willing to make changes in my life because I have feel something special in my heart. Other people haven’t had this experience and don’t understand the changes. I also spend a lot of time thinking about my decision to be baptized and about various issues involving the Church. They don’t do that. So they look at me and think, what is wrong with her? Why is she changing so much? Why does she go to church for three hours? Why doesn’t she drink?

Honestly, my habits have changed but my overall personality has not. I’m still the same person that I’ve always been and my relationships with friends and family are the same. I think it’s just a shock to them and I hope that things will get better in time.

Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled in two directions at once. The missionaries want me to be what I call “more Mormon”. They want me to hurry up and accept things. Their favorite answer is since I “know” the Book of Mormon is true, then Joseph Smith’s revelations must be true, and thus whatever they are teaching me must be true. They don’t seem to want to see things from my perspective or to understand that this is also a huge cultural change for me as well.

Then I have my friends pulling on my other arm. They want me to be “less Mormon”. To change more slowly. They have a harder time understanding why I’m choosing to join the LDS Church. They think it’s happening too fast.

Yesterday I met with the missionaries and a couple from the ward and we talked about the Word of Wisdom. Since I knew that I’d have issues with the Word of Wisdom, I’ve been researching and praying about it for several weeks. I’ve changed my habits so that I can obey the Word of Wisdom even though I’m still working on the drinking aspect. I tried to explain to them where I’m coming from. Drinking is a big part of my (college, twenty-something, secular) culture. The other group thing is that I have a hard time taking advice about drinking from people who have never tried alcohol. I wanted credit for what I’ve done so far, but the missionaries wanted a firm commitment that I will live the Word of Wisdom. I told them that I was doing the best I can. I went home feeling frustrated.

Side note: one missionary also implied that my boyfriend is a bad influence on me. He compared my bf to a drill sergeant who seriously harassed and was abusive toward one of the other missionaries who used to be a marine. Personally I think the missionary has issues with his nonmember father and takes it out on me and my boyfriend. I’m having a hard time interacting with and trusting this missionary now and I don’t want him to be a part of my baptism. If this becomes a bigger problem, what can I do about it? Can I talk to his mission president? Should I confront the missionary directly and tell him that he’s making me uncomfortable? I know that his behavior isn’t typical of all missionaries.

There’s more to this post/topic including some positive things. But I have a migraine so I’ll probably post the rest of it later.

Update on the “Coming Out” Process (see the last 3 posts)

I’ve polled my siblings on telling my parents about joining the LDS church. My (younger) brother thinks that neither mom nor dad will care. And they don’t have any right to care. Dad might just be happy that I’m going to church, says my brother. Little sis thinks that Mom and Dad will both flip out with Mom rated as ‘kinda flipping out’ and Dad rated as ‘really flipping out.’ The Boy thinks that I should have bought the Strawberry Blonde beer I was lusting over in the grocery store to show my parents that I won’t be “a crazy conservative Mormon.” I think my parents know me better than that. I think the Boy may be worried that I’ll become a crazy conservative Mormon. But I am trying very hard to be patient with him.

Book of Mormon Resources/ Hints

If you’re struggling through the Book of Mormon for the first time (like me), here are some hints. My main problems are that I fall asleep while reading or I’m really confused about what’s going on.

• Try listening to the BoM instead of reading. The LDS Church has an audio page with a link to the audio version of the Book of Mormon. You can listen to each chapter in your browser or you can download the entire BoM or the individual books to your computer. If you download them you can upload them to your iPod/mp3 player or burn them to a CD and listen while you’re doing something else.
• I like to listen to the chapters with the physical copy propped up against my knees while knitting. Apparently I need to be multi-tasking at all times to stay awake. I got through 2 Nephi 1-10 in an hour tonight.
• There’s a pretty good summary at the Book of Mormon Online. Click on “Lehites in Jerusalem and Arabia” to start at 1 Nephi.
• If you want a version of the Book of Mormon in simple, modern English visit PlainBookofMormon.com. It’s basically the paraphrased version.
• You can find another summary here at Light Planet.
• The official Book of Mormon can be found at LDS.org.
• There’s a pronouncing guide in the back of the Book of Mormon. It’s after Moroni and before the index.

I was going to write about something else as well, but I forget what it is and I’m tired and going to bed.

What’s the big deal?

So why am I hesitant about telling my family and sharing my faith? Well, it’s not my style to tell everyone everything that is going on in my life. Everyone knows that I am very much in love with the Boy but they don’t need to know about all of our future plans or the exact ways that we show our love. I’m a quiet, reserved, introverted person. I don’t shout things from the rooftops.

In my family, sharing an idea means that the listener is now allowed to comment, make suggestions or condemn that idea. If you don’t want someone else’s opinion then don’t tell anyone about it. The difference between telling you (the audience) and my parents due to our relationship. Sure, you guys can comment and I can think about those comments but I can also choose to disregard them without consequences. My parents still have the idea that their opinion should count more than my own in my decision-making process. Then they get to nag me and follow me around until I submit to what they want me to do.

I also have heavy emotional scars from telling my parents things in the past. I didn’t tell them that I was depressed until I was 19 and I had been depressed since I was 12. Because I knew that they would blame me for a biological condition. Even though I’m well now, they still don’t want to talk about it. I’ve forgiven my parents for their reaction but it still hurts.

I think I’m avoiding telling my parents because I hate conflict. And I don’t want to defend my beliefs. I just want to say, “I’m getting baptized in the LDS church, and you’re welcome to come to the ceremony.” Then they can say, “Cool. We’ll come” or “Cool. But we don’t feel comfortable going.” But I know it’s not that easy. They’ll be a million questions about the church and what I do or don’t believe. The whole question of the grandchildren’s (my children’s) religion. What about baptism and marriage? What does the Boy think about all of this? How can I support a religion with such weird values? Why am I joining a religion that is anti-choice and doesn’t support homosexual relationships?

The current recommendation from Kay and the Boy is not to tell my parents about joining the Church. They think that if I must tell my parents, then I should do it after I move and not while I’m living at home.

I don’t know. I debated even posting about this. I don’t know how they’ll react. Heck, I should just tell my mom tonight and see what she says. Then I’ll have something to real to write about and not just be speculating.

Who I’ve Told So Far

So far I’ve told four people that I’m interested in in the LDS church. Two of them were my old roommates who were wondering why missionaries were sitting on their couches. The roommates didn’t really care, but had questions about polygamy. The third person was the Boy. His current official statement is that he’ll support me but he’ll be sad if I don’t want to look at churches with me after we’re married. That doesn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside but I’ll take what I can get. I guess. :-\ And I told my very best friend Kay tonight. She’s fairly indifferent and understands the blend of ‘liberal’ values plus the more conservative religion. This is the fairly non-religious girl who is attracted to other women and does research on lesbian Israeli culture, but may convert to Conservative Judaism rather than Reformed. She can’t really criticize me. But she is coming to my baptism. Yay! Other than those four people, no one else knows. I told my mom that I’ve gone to a Mormon church but that’s it.

Telling My Friends

I don’t think my friends will care because they’ve already heard enough strange things come out of my mouth. Besides, I’m the weird pro-choice, anti-war, feminist, and extremely liberal knitter who ends up answering awkward sex ed questions from friends most of the time.

Telling the Fam

I am worried about my parents and other relatives. My mom is fairly nonreligious though she does believe in God and she goes to church when she has to. Her attitude is going to be “um, why are you going to church? why are you, the liberal person you are, going to a church known for conservative values?” My dad is a Catholic/Presbyterian mix and I’m pretty sure he’ll think that I’m now going to hell. I think my mom’s parents might think I’m joining a cult but won’t give me a hard time. And if I told my dad’s parents, they would definitely think I’m going to hell. They almost disowned us when I was baptized Protestant and not Catholic. So I’m not telling the grandparents anything.

Stay tuned for: What’s the big deal?

On the way to work today I was talking to the Boy about the Word of Wisdom, specifically the alcohol part of it. I said, it’s not about whether or not I think the drinking alcohol is immoral or not. Drinking isn’t immoral, unless you do something irresponsible while you’re intoxicated. It’s about making a promise when I know I can’t keep that promise. Plus I can’t really fudge on the WoW because it’s pretty obvious if you’re drinking a beer at the bar.

Anyhow, I come how from work to find an email from the Boy. Basically he’s upset because I’m talking about changing what I do based on a rule I don’t really believe in. He has a good point there. But that’s why I’m continuing to meditate on it. Then he says, “I know it probably sounds like I’m just trying to fight this conversion idea tooth and nail, but I swear I told myself yesterday that I would just try to accept it and be supportive. That being said, I don’t want to see you give up something that I know you enjoy unless you’re sure it’s worth it.” Err… well, I know it’s worth it. (Ha! Maybe there’s my answer to the WoW issue!) And I’m concerned that he has to tell himself that he will try to accept it and be supportive. So we had a talk about that. It seemed to stress him out more than it stressed me out.

Here’s what we came up with. 1. Having a mixed faith marriage is not a deal-breaker. 2. Neither of us will try to convert each other. 3. His preferred church option is for us all to have the same religion. I’ve told him that I can’t promise him that. Another option (my preferred option) is to go to our ‘family’ service in the morning and then I can go to the LDS service in the afternoon. Hopefully we’ll live in a ward with an afternoon service. For some bizarre reason, that is not a good option for the Boy. Why? Because, according to him, I would be “just paying lip-service” to that church. Um, no, I’m fairly flexible on attending church services. I’ll go and support my husband and kids as long as I don’t have to believe. I did grow up in a Protestant church, y’know. Another option is for him to come to church with me - and then when we have kids, we can decide whether or not to send them to Sunday school or to have them just go to sacrament meeting. Of course, I’d be fine with him being baptized too — but only if that’s what he wants to do. The Boy says he just needs to get used to the idea that I’m probably going to be a Mormon. Poor guy.