I don’t think you have to be quite so drastic to implement change, but here was one piece of advice that really helped us decide what to keep and what to get rid of. When going through your belongings, for each item, ask yourself these two questions: “Do I really, really need this?” and “Do I really, really love this?” If you answer “yes” to at least one of the two questions, keep it. If you answer “no” to both, sell it or give it away. (Giving it away ended up being much easier for us with most stuff, as I feel ripped off if I get a lousy price from a buyer, whereas I feel generous if I give it away.) Anyway, following this, we managed to get rid of quite a bit of stuff that we didn’t really love or need, and what we kept were mostly irreplaceable keepsakes.

Either way you go, whether one change at a time or lots of changes at once, I think it’s definitely worth it. We have noticed the benefits in our marriage, our family, and our spiritual disciplines.

Just for an example, I’m actually in the process of writing a post about the sabbath day on whatdomormonsbelieve, and I mention not going out and buying stuff on the sabbath. But last weekend, my father (who isn’t a mormon) came clear out from Nevada to see me, and we went out to eat on Sunday. Does that make me a hypocrite? I don’t personally think so. It was a personal choice to make that Sunday an exception for the sake of courtesy to my father, which I see as very important, even in a spiritual way. I still feel like I kept the Sabbath.

The problem just comes when you start doing one of two things:
1) Lying to yourself by telling yourself that it’s okay when you really don’t truly feel that way. You can’t get into a habit of justifying things you know are wrong, no matter how easy it is to discount them. This is so common. Seriously. People will defend their sins to the death.
2) Rejecting whole principles. Even though it’s up to you to decide what’s modest (or holy), it’s when you decide that you personally don’t need to be modest (or keep the sabbath day holy) that you’re in danger. This happens when you let the exceptions become the rule.

I’m not saying you’re doing either of those two, by the way. I also think you’re dead on when you say “I can take things like the Articles of Faith and the Commandments at face value.” Let me add to that official word from the prophet. You stick to that, and you’re good.

So yeah, there are some hard and fast commandments (think your baptismal interview questions), but there are also those issues where there’s no law of Moses to tell you exactly what you should and shouldn’t do. And that’s how it should be. Modesty and the Sabbath Day are two of those. You just have to have the principle in mind and act accordingly. Be modest. Keep the sabbath day holy. That’s all.

As I am comming to understand Chastity is not about sex as much as it is about how I treat myself and others. I have added value to my selfworth by not shelling out my body to just anyone. I have created value in my relationship with my wife by remaining loyal and Chaste to her. I value my Family and I value those connections that should be private and dear to us.

If I do not remain Chaste I devalue my relationships with others and it would harm all in my family, even my son. and this has less to do with sexuality than it has to do with respect.

which I think Modest dress is a sign of respect. I have seen how people are treated differently due to their choice of Dress. Modesty in clothing suggests self worth and respect, and inmodest clothing suggests an easy target for preditor types.

Thank you,
-D

On the other hand, you may be treading on dangerous ground. When we start treating the Prophet’s teachings as a buffet, where we can take what we want and leave what we want, we are in danger of losing our direction. Doing things the Lord’s way - when we find it convenient - is not living the law of obedience.

The things you are talking about (modest dress and sabbath observance) I think are more open to personal interpretation and revelation, so don’t mind my warning paragraph too much. But do mind it some.

However, I wrote the following while rewriting the LDS “youth pamphlet” in a way that is more universal and applicable to individuals; both Mormons and others.

“Dress and Appearance

Your body is a beautiful creation. There is no need to be ashamed of one’s body. We are all different and unique—that is part of what makes the body beautiful. Your dress and appearance can help accentuate your body’s unique and positive features. Many groups and cliques like to define themselves by the way they dress; It is better to define yourself on the inside and let your fashion be an expression of who you are and what you stand for. Whether fair or not, the clothing you wear together with your hairstyle and your cleanliness all have an influence on how others treat you.
There are certain occasions where some appearances are more appropriate than others. For instance, wearing a swimsuit to the beach is a good idea but maybe not such a good idea for church. When your are unsure your parents and/or other trusted individuals can be excellent advisors in helping you know what to wear for different events or activities. No matter the occasion it is best to try and dress in a way that helps you feel comfortable and confident. However, even with the best of planning sometimes you are going to have those “bad hair days”—don’t worry too much, everybody has them.

You’re right. It’s not a matter of Celestial glory, but I look at it as a matter of respect.

When I was growing up, I had a great Sunday School teacher who let us call him by his first name. One day my mom overheard me call him “Roger”, and lovingly told me to call him “Brother Sorensen.” I didn’t think it mattered a lick, but I dutifully obeyed my mother. Obviously he didn’t mind being called Roger, but the deference to my elder became a token of my willing respect.

Also, I encourage you to not let your personal prayers become too heavily influenced by the public prayers you hear from others, and even if J doesn’t feel the same way about praying (or praying together) that you do, continue on in your prayer life. Heavenly Father knows your heart, hears your prayers, and loves you deeply.

Rob in Gallup (not an LDS member, but a longtime investigator and LDS-friendly fellow WordPress blogger)

I, personally, think there should be more prayer in daily life. Both in the individual and group circumstances.