Resolving things May 14, 2008
The baptism is still on. Yay. I am actually excited. 
I decided several weeks ago that I wanted to be baptized. This was after the Boy told me that he knew that I would be baptized from the way I talked about the church. I’ve decided that I want to be baptized here and not after I move because I know people here and I want them to attend my baptism. I still need to tell the parents. But I feel more confident about that as my confidence in my decision and the LDS church grows.
The Boy and I had a long, emotional talk about the conversion issue. Of course this was while I wasn’t feeling well so I cried through most of it. Basically I said the same things that I said in Ch-ch-changes. I’ve asked him to be open with me about his thoughts and feelings. I think I was exaggerating how the Boy felt about the issue because he wasn’t talking to me about how he felt. This is the first major issue that we’ve had in our year and a half relationship, and it’s very hard to resolve on the phone when you’re a 12-hour drive away. Oh well, relationships are work. Luckily we respect each other and can work things out. Things are better now and he really is a great boyfriend. (You guys only get to hear me stress out about him and the religion issue here.)
I met with the missionaries today. The meeting was less tense than the last meeting. However, it is very awkward to have a conversation about the Law of Chastity with three men when no one else is around. Not to mention slightly inappropriate. I realize that someone has to teach me about it… but it was strange. I wish they had just told me to read the pamphlet and then I could ask them questions if I didn’t understand something. Seriously, how hard is the Law of Chastity to understand? I even summed it up for them: no sexual relations or activities outside of marriage. But then they had to clarify what those activities were. I spent most of the time staring at my shoes and zoning out. The ward member who was there did the same. Much to my surprise, I answered “yes” when I was asked if I would obey the Law of Chastity. I was planning on refusing to answer because I think it’s between me and God and it’s no one else’s business. I think I just wanted the awkwardness to be over so I blurted out “yes.” Awkward.
Anyhow, I feel like joining the LDS Church is like coming back home and I know that being baptized is the right decision.
When I met with missionaries, there had to be at least one other guy present (my boyfriend) or two other girls, so why were you meeting with all men? Was the ward member there to fulfill the rule? That is awkward.
Yeah, there’s supposed to be a male over the age of 18 there in addition to me and the 2 missionaries. And since I don’t have any close male friends and the bf lives in another state, a ward member has to be there. One time a couple came together, but the rest of the times there’s only been a male ward member. It hasn’t been a problem except for our last meeting.
Sunlize,
If it is not comfortable to have 3 men in any of these discussions, you may want to ask if there are any “sisters” in the area that could teach some of the more discreet/private issue lessons. When you are baptized do ask the Bishop to have one of the women in the ward be assigned to help with the “New Member discussions.” These are preaty much a review of the Missionary lessons but you can take the lead any time you want. These new member descussions (if you have someone go through them with you) are intended as review and to encourage you to ask questions so you can grow in understanding. After several years I’m still growing in understanding.
I am glad to hear “the boy” is one of the Great guys out there, we are too few.
Have a great day!
-D
Well, I’ve been invited to a ward member’s house for the next discussion. It’s the same ward member who was there last time - obviously he felt awkward too. And I’m guessing the wife will be there so it’ll be nice to have another woman there. Though the topics of tithing, following the prophet, and preparing for baptism pretty mundane.
ditchu - thanks for the tips. I want to find someone who’s a convert to talk to too. And I agree, there are too few great guys out there.
Aren’t you glad for the Holy Ghost? There are many things people do in the church that can be annoying and very awkward. I think you did an excellent thing by focusing on the most important thing and getting the most out of the experience. Good for you!
I wrote a post once on a 2 Hour Fast and Testimony meeting and how I zoned out and felt critical towards many of the members going up there. When I focused on the positive I was able to have a spiritual experience in spite of all the weird things they were saying.
check it out here:
http://graceforgrace.com/2008/03/02/a-two-hour-sacrament-meetingwhat-the-lord-touches-lives/
Sunlize,
“I feel like joining the LDS Church is like coming back home and I know that being baptized is the right decision.”
That’s just beautiful. Enough said.
Anyway, thanks for this post. The thought of you getting grilled on the Law of Chastity by the missionaries made me chuckle a little, remembering when I was on a mission. Chastity is one of the hardest principles to teach young unmarried adults, especially when you’re nineteen or twenty, and missionaries deal with that in different ways.
Also, I’m writing another post for What do Mormons Believe?, and incidentally it’s about the Law of Chastity. (continuing with “What can’t mormons do?”
Any suggestions or questions would be welcome.
Glad the awkwardness brought back fond memories. Today I had the fun question of, “what does the Law of Chastity mean to you?” with the follow-up request to be more specific. argh. Apparently I forgot to mention pornography and masturbation. At least the church seems to aim its no porn/masturbation policy at both men and women (rather than just men).
I’ll shoot you an email about your law of chastity post.