Tell It True, part II May 8, 2008
What’s the big deal?
So why am I hesitant about telling my family and sharing my faith? Well, it’s not my style to tell everyone everything that is going on in my life. Everyone knows that I am very much in love with the Boy but they don’t need to know about all of our future plans or the exact ways that we show our love. I’m a quiet, reserved, introverted person. I don’t shout things from the rooftops.
In my family, sharing an idea means that the listener is now allowed to comment, make suggestions or condemn that idea. If you don’t want someone else’s opinion then don’t tell anyone about it. The difference between telling you (the audience) and my parents due to our relationship. Sure, you guys can comment and I can think about those comments but I can also choose to disregard them without consequences. My parents still have the idea that their opinion should count more than my own in my decision-making process. Then they get to nag me and follow me around until I submit to what they want me to do.
I also have heavy emotional scars from telling my parents things in the past. I didn’t tell them that I was depressed until I was 19 and I had been depressed since I was 12. Because I knew that they would blame me for a biological condition. Even though I’m well now, they still don’t want to talk about it. I’ve forgiven my parents for their reaction but it still hurts.
I think I’m avoiding telling my parents because I hate conflict. And I don’t want to defend my beliefs. I just want to say, “I’m getting baptized in the LDS church, and you’re welcome to come to the ceremony.” Then they can say, “Cool. We’ll come” or “Cool. But we don’t feel comfortable going.” But I know it’s not that easy. They’ll be a million questions about the church and what I do or don’t believe. The whole question of the grandchildren’s (my children’s) religion. What about baptism and marriage? What does the Boy think about all of this? How can I support a religion with such weird values? Why am I joining a religion that is anti-choice and doesn’t support homosexual relationships?
The current recommendation from Kay and the Boy is not to tell my parents about joining the Church. They think that if I must tell my parents, then I should do it after I move and not while I’m living at home.
I don’t know. I debated even posting about this. I don’t know how they’ll react. Heck, I should just tell my mom tonight and see what she says. Then I’ll have something to real to write about and not just be speculating.
I do not tell most people about my faith, either. I just do not feel that it is worth it to me.
I feel that overall, there is a comic book view of religious people in society. Worse, if someone is not the exact same religion as you are, there is a chance of them trying to convert you which is bad:
1. It is arrogant because they are criticizing your decision.
2. It is ignorant because they didn’t spend all the time you did thinking and praying over it.
3. It is also a way to limit one’s understanding. If you are talking, you are not listening.
In short, I agree, it is difficult to explain your faith to others. Most will, actually, never understand. That is OK because it is your decision.
Thanks for your comment. I’m not sure what you mean about a “comic book view of religious people in society”? Do you mean that they are seen as one-dimensional characters and not multi-faceted people?
I think that you’re right that some people will never understand but it’s okay because it’s a personal decision. I have put a lot of time, thought and prayer into this decision. So despite criticism I can stand up for my decision (without seeming like I want to defend it or force it upon someone else).